i personally have experienced some difficulty lately in staying close to God the way i had been in previous months. i've been stuggling because everytime i sit to talk to God or to spend time in devotion i always find my mind turning to memories from last year, because of this i'd stopped spending so much time in devotion and prayer and instead filled my life with distractions. i only recently allowed myself to admit that it was creating a gap between me and the God i'd, only last year, felt so close to. so today i woke up determined to spend more time with him than i have been and refocusing my life on the relationship i'd allowed to suffer because of the problems with another relationshp in my life.
"One thing i do; forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. i press toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3: 13-14
i've come to understand how wrong it is to let other relationships in your life affect the one with your creator. i'd always known deep down the distance it was creating, but instead of facing the pain of letting it go, i chose to ignore it. well i am taking the initutive to choose to admit my mistake and try everything i can to fix it. i will no longer turn from God because of the other broken relationships in my life but choose rather to strengthen my relationship with him so i dont lean so much on those of this world that never truly had a sturdy foundation anyway.
i realize that i've grabbed ahold of something i'd sworn i had gotten rid of, this time i will work harder to not pick up the strings that have already been severed.